Feeling frustrated ? Need someone now ?
Looking for a chat with a happy ending ?

Put a smile on your face, rent Ace !!
Ace Rentals - #8 Ackalia
OPEN-Available

THIS WEEK IS LADIES WEEK

ALL Ladies Rentals HALF OFF !!!
NO Conjuring Fees all week
Men get Half Rentals only, at Half Off


Yes, money CAN buy happiness
Or at least rent it for awhile
So don't look so down
Happiness with her is a few coins away !!!

All Rentals include free bath and drinks
Cookies and Hot Chocolate too !!
Don't be shy, drop on by
For appointment: send a /tell
For prompt service ring the bell

If she's at work, she's working
Customers come first (sometimes)

Guess this has to go here to save time:
No ridiculous dicks please, 'big' is tolerable
If you fit livestock, she knows a farmer...
If livestock fits you, she has a horse...


If you don't want to read the overly long and potentially amusing description that's taking forever to write
One that doesn't even have a detailed description of what her girly bits look like since you can't see them anyway (usually)
Just skip to the end now :)
Portrait and description change often


What you can see:
5'2" Appears human, in her early 20's
Slim, well toned with small hips
Her bust fits her build, small and firm
It's easy to tell if she isn't wearing a bra
and she very rarely does
Red hair, worn straight or pinned back
Big blue expressive eyes
Dresses neatly for all occasions
Wears very little makeup, if any
Her skin always has a 'fresh scrubbed' look
Her cheeks blaze at the slightest thought
Then fade back just as quickly

What you can't see:
Whatever she isn't showing on purpose
"Looking is free advertising"

What she does:
In this city, it might be a case of
'selling iceboxes to Eskimos'
But the leadup RP can still be fun
What else can you do with all that gold?
She's a professional pleasure provider
"You got it, you sell it, you still got it"
Was Asst. Manager at the Broken Compass
Also works part time for the Howling Wind chain and the Coy Courtesan and Club Euphoria in Port Saban
Now spending most of her time as owner/operator of 'Ace Rentals' in Ackalia
Put a smile on your face, rent Ace !!

If she's on duty at an establishment
'Premium' drinks come with a side order:
Waitress, hot, no dressing, on a soft bed

When she's working:
She takes her job seriously
She tries to make each customer happy
She does prefer nice men but gold is gold
so she accepts most paying customers
male, female, other or both
IF they follow the rules and have gold
She doesn't get many female customers but she can get the job done lickety-split
Extra bits cost extra most times.
Some things are out of her control
The customer doesn't always come first


THE RULES:

https://www.f-list.net/c/meredin%20bergmann/

Be clean or be bathed first
Nothing too big for her goes inside
She'll try to 'help' other ways if she can
Nothing happens that hurts her.
The back door is closed and locked
Bathrooms are provided, use them, not her
Due to some people thinking it's fun to logout right after they're done
All payment is required in advance
Especially from talking wolves !!
All other customer requests considered

'Add-on' items available at no extra cost
Costumes worn if in stock
'Special' costumes require advance notice
Group rates negotiable
Customer loyalty plans available
Every fifth time is FREE!!! plus more
Ask about her Gift Certificates
Reservations accepted if possible
Takeout and delivery service available
Parking Validated
Refunds unlikely

'Smaller' or 'average' customers preferred
Larger ones may have a surcharge added
A wide-eyed "oh my" is fine
A jaw dropping "OMG!!!" not so much

She does have a tiny 'affliction'
She gets very aroused for no reason
Do what you like doing the most
And you'll never work a day in your life

She knows what she likes
and she likes to practice doing it
She does it well but often seems nervous she isn't doing a good job
She does what she's paid to do
Within limits...
She's for rent, you don't own her
Treat her nicely and she'll be nice
She does like to practice one skill
She's been told she's good at it
Even if she doesn't like the taste much

There's a reason I was never a secretary
Typos come faster than she does
(I'm a little unkeyboardinated)

If I'm logged in, I logged in to play.
Check the player list
Or her 'schedule' at the top of the page
If her location is hidden or 'busy'
Then she's probably with a customer
If it shows that she's at work
She's either waiting for a customer
Or cleaning up after her last one
Why say you're looking for something
Then make sure nobody can find you ?

I rarely get up for more than ten minutes without hiding her location or logging off
Housework sucks harder than she does

This part rapidly turned into a 'Sham-wow' commercial, but that's what you get for free ;)

If you need RP excuses for paying her:
maybe...
Your character is looking for something they don't get at home
Or maybe an adventurer with gold to spend on 'ale and whores'
Or just wants a quiet drink and a chat
with a guaranteed ending
Or maybe they're in a hurry
Or think they're too ugly
Or feels insecure or 'too small'
Or just wants to try someone new
Or likes to RP buying what she sells
Or wants to show they can afford it
Or is a curious 'otherkind' (with money)
Or just needs to 'unclog the pipes'
Or even a couple of young Halflings separated from their quest party in the land of the 'bigguns' and daring each other to go first ;)

Spend a half hour killing yetis and buy yourself a nice soft treat

Virgins treated kindly, she was one herself
She can get the tools to do the job
And do it better than her 'first' did

Getting married ?
Worrying what to do on the honeymoon?
Try her Pre-Marital Practice Program
Don't worry about the first time jitters
Practice makes perfect
Your fiance(e) will thank you
Married Couples Rediscovery Program too,
Practice putting the fun back in again !!!

Wife/husband/girl or boyfriend cheats ?
Get even yourself or bring them along
Nothing drops a hint quite like watching
someone else doing it with you

Just divorced ?
Come in and celebrate
Just horny ? bored ? lonely ?
Arm in a cast ? Fingers cramped ?
She can help with that
Want to spice things up a little ?
She has a special couples rate
Wondering what a human feels like ?
Satisfy your curiosity
'That time of the month' ?
Give your boyfriend/husband a gift certificate and take a load off your knees
'Brewer's Droop' ? Forget the Viagra
Get some ginger in your diet

But wait !!! there's MORE.....

Businessman with a presentation to give ?
Noble waiting to appear before Royalty ?
Can't be seen with an unsightly swelling ?
Don't fret, she makes office calls too !!
Guaranteed to flatten any trousers
"When you're stuck at half-mast
she'll bring it down fast"
Just send a servant (or a /tell)
She'll be there in a flash
(this service subject to availability)
Thank you for reading this far
Use the code "IREADITALL"
for a one-time 10% discount
Need a 'date' for a special evening ?
Or a bartender/waitress/hostess ?
She serves more than drinks
She'll work in a formal gown, or a uniform
Or in whatever you want her to wear
Even just 'shoes and a smile'
And the 'after party party' is included

The odds against her having children are 'winning the lottery' high
But not zero
On the appropriate days of the month
The prospective 'father' can roll the dice
But don't get your hopes up ;)
Also, some services may not be available
during monthly maintenance
Thanks to magic, other ones might be...
But only for a limited time
Ask about 'Ladies Week' specials

tl/dr:
Just pay her, she works hard for the money

'greens': found in 'the rules' above
She does what she's paid to do
within reason !!

'yellows': try something and find out
hint: read 'the rules' first
prepare for a polite 'no'
or a more definite 'no' the next time

'reds': read 'the rules'
People who don't pay her
Actual rape-that's shoplifting !!

BIG RED!!!
First person RP. I'm not her I don't charge.

Brought to you by a charter member  of DOWNFAST
Dirty Old Women Need
Fantasies and Sexytimes Too