Some days start worse than others.  The crow standing at the foot of my bed was not a good sign.  What -had- I been drinking last night?  It blinked at me with a yellowed eye highlighting the purple sheen to its otherwise black feathers.

"Greetings chosen one!" It cawed, way too chipper for this early in the morning.

"Fuck off crow," I snarled as I heaved a pillow at it.  It failed to snap the little bastard's neck.  Wings fluttered briefly.

"Crow?!?  I'm a raven!  And not just any raven, mind you, I'm Munin, messenger of..."

I cut squab off.  "Munin is dead.  I was there.  Who are you really?"

A few rapid blinks and it continued in an indignant tone.  "Well, yes, a minor point I assure you.  You aren't as stupid as you look.  I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually."  

I had my suspicions, although the why was eluding me in a way I wished my headache would.  Vermouth.  Definitely Vermouth.  Next time I stick to Tequila.  The bird hopped forward a few feet, landing far too solidly on my chest.  Heavy enough to make a cannonball jealous.  "You have a point to this tubby?" I gasped out.  

"Of course I do!  I want you to be my avatar!"

"No."

"Oh Please?"  Crows shouldn't be able to laugh.

I closed my eyes and laid back.  "Why me?" I intoned to no one in particular.  

The responce was cold and edgy, almost malignant.  "Because you're a disbeliving little heretic who claimed I didn't exist and needs to be taught a lesson."  The raven hammered it's sharp beak into my nose drawing blood.  "And I can't be predictable, now can I?"

I remember it as a debate over a deck of soon to be scattered cards.  Come to think of it, strange things had been happening ever since.  Arguing with gods and engineers never goes well.  Even when they're wrong.  And stubborn.  Fine.

"What's in it for me?"  I wiped blood from my eyes pretending to savor the foreshadowing. "And don't say unlimited cosmic power.  We both know what bullshit that is."

"Oh, no no no.  No spoilers."  

"I don't think I'm interested."  

"Doesn't matter.  I've all ready taken you out a few times.  Well... all right,.. it was one long go, but I went through a lot of trouble to get you here.  You're gonna love it."  The sarcastic grin was more disconcerting than the laugh.

Two thoughts went through my head.  Where in the nine hells is here, and how many limes would it take to make it to the end of the day.  More than I had, I could be assured.

"That's about it.  Sorry about the scars... Oh... before I forget... You might want to avoid redheads named Trinity..."  It fluttered over to the windowsill.  "Tootles" Then it was gone.



Elf
Male
Straight
Muscular
Bit of an introvert  (ok, a lot)
Swordsman
From somewhere else.
Old enough to know better
Young enough to enjoy it



Lights:

Green:  RP, Romance, Vanilla Ice Cream and walks on the beach, IC conversation, smart ass women that make the first move, adventure, not being in a rush, sarcasm, banter, running jokes, one on one, irreverance.

Yellow:  Dominace and submission. (neither is particularly appealing) Large groups for anything.  Backstories on a first date.  Being treated like a piece of meat.  Having to ask for directions.  Online forums.  

Red:  Woke anything.  Shemales, Herms, Transgender, (ie, see straight) rape, the other usuals. People who go looking for arguments.  Drama.  PVP.    


OOC:  Player is tell friendly,  Lots of expirience with English as a second language people.  Respect me and my choices, I'll respect you and yours.  Feel free to say hi  :)


Not the best one of these I've ever done, but without a doubt, the longest.