Fill up your mugs, pull up a chair and hearken to the ballad of Sadie...


Skinny as a spear or a two by four
Ugly as sin born premature
Mother had trouble trying to take
To a girl that looked like a garden rake

Girls are girls but Dad wasn't proud
Didn't make her feel like one of the crowd
Monster huntin' gals from up in the sticks
Laughed at the sight of Sadie

She was treated like scum, less than dirt
Couldn't lift a sword
Or make a crossbow work
Father often said she didn't have a clue
Mother didn't feed her and she hardly grew

So Sadie disappeared for fifteen years
Father didn't miss her and her mother didn't care
After awhile they forgot about her
And her boyfriend said, "Who cares?"


In this little town life went on the same
Til one summer when the dragons came
Breathing fire to set the crops ablaze
And everyone dodging Firedrakes
Ah they fought and they shot but they just couldn't outgun
The smoky fumes and the fiery tongues
They were losing fast
It was lookin' bad
Who would save their town?

Save us, SAVE us !!

But nobody knew neither foe nor friend
That Sadie had grown to six foot ten
Arms like an ogre
Legs like trees
A great big hammer
And hairy knees

Shave us, SHAVE us !!

Off in the woods o'er the dragons' roar
Came a sound nobody had heard before
Wyverns were falling like a tidal wave
to a monster bashing giant-sized hammer

Her big mauls' handle was ten foot two
It glowed through the smoke
all purple and blue
Like an unnatural disaster
in twenty seconds flat
She laid that dragon out on its' back

With the dragon ko'd and its' looted cave
The townfolk saved from a charcoal grave
People gathered round and cheered "Hurray!" For this monster disposal unit.

Puffin' on a smoke she laid the hammer down
Said, "I'm the gal who saved your town."
Then Sadie knocked over a drum of tar
Just as she tossed out her cigar.
All the tar caught fire and the town burned flat
And Sadie ran off just like a scalded cat
"It's been fifteen years", her father said.
"And she's still as stunned as me arse !!"




Six foot ten, blonde and blue eyes, built like a brick garderobe but twice one's size, her hammer is bigger than she is and a lot sharper ;)

They say the next time she gets laid will be her first time but they're off by a few, not many, but a few.
Chat her up if you dare, you never know.
She prefers men and only men and size doesn't matter but pleasantness does,
play nice or snu-snu isn't off the table



and of course I 'stole' the song
I'm good but I'm not THAT good !!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLECVhrXXH8
Credit(or blame) where it's due...
It was on Hubby's playlist ;)