T'was the dark of the moon
on a warm night in June
she walked along wary of Orcs
when from out of the gloom
came the sound of her doom
t'was a Troll with a knife and a fork

In a moment the fiend
grabs her tight, she can't scream
and he said as his grin it spread wider
"by all that's not right,
she'll be inside me this night
but before then I'll first be inside her"

The tiny lass glared
as herself she prepared
her eyes closed but not for the slaughter
she opened them wide and loudly cried
you dumb F*** I'm a Sorcerer's daughter !!!

Her eyes they flashed blue then several more hues
they finally glowed like hot brass
then chanting a verse she added a curse
and jammed her foot up the Troll's ass

The Troll gave a croak and tore off her cloak and her robes in spite of her squawls
Her eyes opened wide, he slithered inside
While she fired off a spell at his balls

The battle drug on until close to dawn
Til' the Troll finally blew his foul load
The Sorceress crowed, he became a toad
"Change back you big git I'm not done !!!"


Setting her lute down with a grin, Listy leaned back in her chair, crossed her ankles and used one claw to pick at an imaginary speck of dirt at the base of another one while she rolled a gold piece across her knuckles and casually dropped the other hand down to turn the neck of her lute and ease it up just a little bit.

"Any more questions about how I got this way? or do we skip straight on to the 'who can stop bleeding the fastest' bit?"


She's around six feet tall and fairly gangly, kind of pretty in an odd sort of way too, and green, don't forget the green, that might be important later, there could be a test.  The part about the magical sword hidden in the lute might be on it too.

All girl and resistant to magic changing that, she kind of likes the fast healing part but cutting her hair and nails every day gets a little annoying after awhile along with some other inconveniences.

Interested in men and only men, not orcs, not monsters, not dragons, not manly 'girls' or girly men, and definitely not trolls, she hates trolls as much as her mother did.

I wrote the opening 'song' for another Bard I played years ago but never used it.

I heard this one again for the first time in quite awhile and it reminded me of mine :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r9kJGmZOQQ

So I went looking and dragged it out from a dusty folder that somehow made it through three or four computers.
Just as well, I don't think I could have rewritten it again exactly the same way