Zoe Bells

Portrait

Description
Zoe's Father appeared to be a lowdown dastardly scurvy son of a Hootdawg!  {Whatever that is! }  And he was one of the least important or imposing of buccaneer to ever sail the Seas.. And How he came to find Zoe's mother working in some unknown backwater brothel as the Madame's bookkeeper and personal assistant is a mystery Zoe will never be able to solve... What she does know, is that the mangy greasy pus covered red bastard came ashore one fateful eve with the rest of the Crew and while the ordinarily quiet hamlet burned to the ground amidst the chaos.. he stumbled upon the cowering little bookworm hiding in the Madame's closet... where the skraggly vice-ridden piece of filth had his way with her.. over and over again while the village was ransacked and the citizens raped and/or murdered... ....Unfortunately, for Zoe's father.. that ugly lice-ridden lowlife hunchback, and the rest of that unknown pirate skow was set upon by REAL Pirate Raiders, recently outposted on the Isle of Dread. ....where they were promptly and easily blown to the 249th layer of the Abyss!  {fucking Assholes deserved worse.. but hey...} Now the Brotherhood...  not wanting to pass up free stuff.. scooped up the few remaining citizens and the last remaining booty, that Zoe's semi-conscious mother led them straight too, in exchange for leniency.. Zoe was born 9 months later, and by the age of 10 ... was fully indoctrinated into the beliefs of the Scarlet Fury Brotherhood... and fully convinced that her red-fleshed sperm-donor father was a complete jackass... Now that this Piratey Lass is itching to plunder her first merchant vessel, or raid her first village... Her only regrets are that her dear sweet mother, did not live to see her babygirl  make a Name for herself.. and that she never was able to find the remains of her father in order to raise his worthless soul from the Dead... So she can shoot him... twice.  Now..  unbeknownst to Zoe.. Word had spread amongst her Brethren that Zoe is... well, a bit of a screw-up. And as smart as she is in a bookish manner {thanks mom...} Zoe has managed to learn almost nothing about what a Pirate truly is...  Instead ALL of her Piratey knowledge seems to come from badly written fiction, dirty limericks and the "stories of high adventure" that various drunken, lecherous pirates have told her as being, "True Stories"!  Now... you may be wondering, how it is that Zoe is still a member of the Scarlet Fury Brotherhood... Could it have stemmed from that "Pirate 101 class" when all the new recruits were practicing there..  "Aaaaarrrghh! Ahoy,Mateys" ...and when Zoe tried it was more of a throaty moan, "Ohhhhhh! Oh-boy, Mate-me!"....    perhaps...  It may, have something to do with Zoe's blind willingness to submit to the "Scarlet Fury Brotherhood's New Recruit Hazing"  {which lasted for almost 3 straight years, before another recruit mentioned in passing.. that there is no "Scarlet Fury Brotherhood New Recruit Hazings"}  ...Zoe often wonders what ever became of the missing recruit... Ah well, there were still plenty of sea captains, that having figured out some of her heritage, they of course exploited her abilities.. when she wasn't sitting pretty on a lap. *Update* When last we saw our dingbat of a pirate, Cap'n Zoe... Twas the final great battle betwixt the Amazons of Dread and the Scarlet Fury Brotherhood. The Amazons were handily winning! As the battle turned slowly against the Furies, one by one ships either floundered ashore where they met their fate.. or slowly slunk away from the losing battle (at flank speed)!  When the Fleet Commander too realized there was no more profit to be had, he ordered the blindly obedient Cap'n of the S.S. Lucky Hole to "lead the Final Assault", she was soo excited to finally be recognized as worthy.. she promptly vomited over the railings. After the dry heaves stopped she gave the command to her unwilling crew, that looked at the raging horde of Amazons then looked at their Cap'n (still with a bit of drool, from her heaves, clinging to her chin)... And set full sail... in the opposite direction! But as the temper tantruming Zoe shrieked out ignored orders and once safely away from the Dreaded Isles they took to the boats and abandoned Zoe and the few loyal crew aboard the Lucky Hole. The remaining crew, as it turns out were her severely injured 1st Mate,the cooks, a few menial labourers, Zoe's personal assistant, Zoe's stylist, Zoe's oral hygienist, Zoe's dresser, and Zoe's therapist. Since no one knew or were capable of sailing the ship, it kinda drifted (under full sail) where ever the winds and current carried it. There were plenty of supplies since most of the crew skedaddled.    And then the supplies ran out... After many failed attempts to steer the ship towards passing coastlines and islands the ship n crew found themselves barrelling straight towards one of the worst tropical storms in history! The Lucky Hole, somehow managed to be tossed and turned about several times before miraculously running aground upon some sheltered cove on "some gods forsaken prehistoric isle!" It didn't take a genius to figure out that the SS Lucky Hole wasn't going anywhere soon. That didn't keep the dingbat Cap'n from making foolish decisions. When her (once loyal) crew stared blankly back at her as she ordered them to "patch up the boat as best they could so they could set sail and go rejoin the fleet" (The mast and sails had been entirely destroyed in that storm. Any idiot could see that!) They grabbed their things, and made an excuse to slink off into the jungle, "to gather uhhh.. sap.. and bark.. and tar! yeah tar.. to fix the boat.. i mean ship..."   Zoe is still waiting for their return. Now she lives as a castaway, beside her wrecked boat, talking to a coconut she named "Wilson" and a bunch of bananas she named "Carl". She clearly has spent too much time out in the sun... but just look at her gorgeous tan! One day, while looking for a new bunch of bananas to call, "Carl" because the last Carl were delicious and possibly used to take care of a girl's needs, she walked into ..... a group of savages that looked remarkably like ...  *gulp* Amazons!!!  Dropping Carl to cover her retreat, Zoe fled into the bushes, all the while talking to herself and hoping the crew had returned with supplies. When it was obvious, even to Zoe that her crew wasn't returning.. the poor souls probably slaughtered by those mean ol amazons, snuck back aboard her barely seaworthy ship, and using spells and her "unique abilities" got the boat.. uhh ship limping away from that terrible island of hot scantily clad babes... But not before they tossed lit torches and rocks at her precious boat.. err ship! setting it ablaze. The boat burned freely about her as she tried using fire buckets filled with seawater to extinguish the inferno... No one really knows how the buckets caught fire... so she tipped barrels of ale and spirits over to douse the flames...  Hey! at least it wasn't the black powder!  ...when that only seemed to fuel the flames.. duhh! She resorted to drinkin the kegs of water so she could pee on the flames!  Yes, you read that right... Eventually the fire ran out of wood worthy of burning and the smoldering hulk drifted into Durakiss harbour.. where it presently sinks...err is berthed.     OOC lights:     REDS:       - Amazons ..well,  living freely at least.   - poop stuff {What happens in the Head. Stays in the Head}    GREENS:     Although overflowing with bluster and swagger, Zoe is not a Domineering sort.(at all!) And will naturally submit herself to Authority figures and strong Dominant personalities.   Everything else is possible {at least once..or thrice!} but it will depend entirely on the ICly RP at that time.  She responds well to a strong personality, a firm hand on her and being told, "What a good lil pirate she is..." As she dutifully sits at someone's feet or over their knee or if she's lucky.. on their lap.   TELLS:  If she doesn't know you, then consider her a reluctant TELL receiver!  {If its an ooc question, or you're asking for help that's different..}
Player:	Meera
Gender (Visually):	Female
Race (Visually):	Elf