[APERTURE-MESA :: EMPLOYEE PROFILING]
[FILE DATE :: 23-04-2056 :: 13:07 PM]
ID Register: IKQ-633-009-3
Name: Dowell, Quincy
D.O.B. 13/07/2024
Gender: Male
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 190 lbs.
Nationality: U.S. Citizen
Race: Caucasian
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
Formal Education: High-School Graduate
Social Security Number: XXX-XX-XXXX
Home Phone Number: Unavailable (Service Closed)
Allocated Station: Security, Floor 17
(...)
Number of Complaints Filed: 144 [Last three complaints filed under: 'Indecent use of security equipment', 'Improper use of desk as sleeping instrument', and 'Theft of Company Property (Toilet-Paper)'.]
Psychological Evaluation: (Filed by facility observational staff member #55-01)
"Mr. Dowell conforms to the average expectations of a highschool graduate brought up from the Fifth Recession Paradigm. His libido dominates most of his conduct in interactions with female co-workers, and his performance is subpar at best. However, it is the ruling that Mr. Dowell presents no threat to the security of the company. While he is lacking in intellect and conduct, these misdemeanors are minimal given his current stationing, and are thus of little consequence to the long-term goals of Aperture-Mesa. Also, he works for far less than the rest of our staff without even knowing it."

****

A man out of time.

Out of place.

Without purpose.

His name..

Ba-DUM!

BOOM!

FWOOSH!

..was Quincy Dowell!

Or at least that's how cool and dramatic this kind of stuff should be, right? Sadly for Mr. Quincy Dowell, aged 31, of 251 Penton Avenue, Chicago, Illinois, nobody ever informed him of transdimensional travel, let alone the concept of an infinitely spanning Multiverse wherein such things were possible. As such, the phrase 'pants-shitting panic' would be an applicable one to describe what had happened to the security guard when a portal ripped open on account of him passing through the men's room archway while humming 'Sweet Georgia' brown after having neglected to wash his hands, snatching him away and unto places unknown, unimagined and unheard of.

****

[RED LIGHT]
Blood, violence, rape, rape, rape, piss, feces, chains, whips and BDSM. Also anything that features both tits and a dick can keep as far away from my orafices as possible.

[GREEN LIGHT]
Girls. Girls. Girls. Older sisters-in-law, younger sisters-in-law, mothers-in-law, girl cousins who're twins, widows, upper classmen, younger classmen, classmates, female teachers, rich girls, blondes, dark haired girls, brunettes, redheads, girls with long hair, girls with short hair, girls wearing bobby pins, wavy hair, twin tails, pony tails, pony tails with a little hair left untied, twin braids, girls with curly hair, girls in sailor uniforms, girls in school uniforms, blazers, bloomers, kindergarden teachers, nurses, maids, plice women, shrine maidens, nuns,  military women, secretaries, standoffish girls, cheerleaders, stewardesses, waitresses, gothic girls wearing white, gothic girls wearing black, girls in china dresses, frail girls, albino girls, crazy  girls, fantasists, girls with split personalities, sadistic women, princesses, thigh-high socks, garter belts, girls who crossdress as guys, girls who wear glasses, girls who have one eye bandaged, girls who're covered in bandages, girls in school swimsuits, girls in one piece swimsuits, bikinis, hot bikinis that barely cover anything, ugly bikinis, perverted women, whores, cumdumpsters, sluts, female ghosts, girls with animal ears, and any other kind of woman that I failed to mention---!!!!