Name: Hartiblax the Alogical

Age: It can be calculated using the Navier-Stokes equation. On tuesdays.

Race: Pandimensional Toaster

Gender: Everything plus nine. Thirteen genders in total.

Height: About as tall as 40 stacked snails.

Weight: About as heavy as a pile of 800 snails. Plus a bit extra.

Hair: Does he look like a bitch?!

Eyes: About as heavy as two snails. They might in fact be snails. With eyes. That they don't have. They have those weird feeler things.

Cup Size: McDonads Supersized. Filled with ferrets