This man is dressed in finery. No, finery wouldn't do it quite justice.

He appears to be wearing the clothing equivalent of a small country's fortune. Every knit and thread, every embroidered pocket is crafted in a way that is impossible to achieve within a mortal's lifetime. Which makes sense, because Baron Maerlyn Cecnia I is no ordinary man. If time is money, then he can afford every ounce of patience.

At first glance, he appears to be ranging between the well-dressed Charlatan, and the successful business magnate on the visual scale. The silken garments appear almost illusory, ethereal yet corporeal nonetheless. Their enigmatic origins aside, the vibrant color and depth are magically enchanted to (literally) steal your breath away. The cylindrical top hat resting on his head must be a luminary's fashion statement. Often caught sneaking peeks at his pocket watch, the golden trinket (which otherwise would require a thorough, detailed tome behind its construction) is never late, nor is early. It shows time exactly when it's meant to be. Few are the people who are alive to say otherwise.

Pompous and spoiled, this hoity-toity individual is eager to make demands, of anyone and everyone, often involving ludicrous sums of money to motivate others into granting him those. His silver spoon and golden businessman smile go hand in hand... with his Midas pocket. His brown hair is slightly flaxen, his ey-wait, please, I'll do whatever you say, I'm sorry for calling you hoity-toiiii (you hear, or rather... see? the sickening gurgle of a dying... person?).

Note to self - Might have to purchase a better divine biographer. Then again, how many of these simpletons can read anyway?

Did you notice the change in writing style? Don't worry, this time will be different. I mean, I'm much more talented than that guy who called the baron Hoity-toit...no.. please I wasn't calling You hoity-toiiiiikhhh (You can actually see frothing sounds. What could possibly explain this unnatural phenomenon?)

Note to self - ask for better writers, they keep slandering me. Calling me hoity... that phrase, is the first and last strike! Fine, guess I'll throw the gauntlet, and write the rest myself.

This fabulous, attractive, and much more successful than thou man's lights are as follows:

-Greens: The color of paper money and banknotes. Also, the color of your faces when you learn the extent of my prestige and riches. Seriously, jealousy is such an ugly quality.

-Yellows: Affordability, wine-tastings, silverware galleries, cooked lobsters (but not too cooked, that would ruin the fine texture of the seafood).

-Reds: Overcooked lobsters. Also, you must sign a confidentiality agreement to see the rest ((Ask in tell)).'